A Geek’s Guide To Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

Spending a large number of hours with our eyes glued to the pages of comic books and immersing ourselves in the screen, we use our pop culture knowledge to navigate our way through the world around us. But when it comes to facing adversity, we’ve constructed a framework to help guide you through some of the weirdest and most obscure scenarios. To start, we introduce the Geek’s Guide To Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse.

Most scenarios involving a zombie apocalypse have two things in common. They send the world into a state of utter confusion and then force the last breath out of humanity. So to help face the realities around you, it is important to have a brief understanding of the new world.

Be it neurotoxins, extraterrestrial bacteria, dark magic of the underworld or a simple brain parasite, the widespread pandemic isn’t caused by infection, it is actually caused by consumption. From Night Of The Living Dead to the hyperactive rulemaking found in Zombieland, there is a plethora of knowledge bound in the screen of horror. Whilst you follow this brief survival manual, why not have a bit of fun and channel your inner George A. Romero?

HAVE A PLAN

“Go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over,” Shaun, Shaun Of The Dead (2004)

As Shaun Of The Dead suggests, your fortress of solitude should be somewhere with big heavy doors, feels familiar and has easily accessible exits. To get there, your plan must be concise, taking into account every possible outcome of your journey into the unknown.

Stepping foot into the new world means your outfit must coincide with the conditions you are facing… after all; the apocalypse is not a runway show. Gather supplies for the formidable hardships you’re likely to face, and hit the road.

MAINTAIN STRONG RELATIONSHIPS

“We may not enjoy living together, but dying together isn’t going to solve anything,” Helen Cooper, Night Of The Living Dead (1968)

Despite the horrors of the current reality, you mustn’t get carried away with personal vendettas, but instead, come to a mutual conclusion of a common enemy. Sure the annoying rivalry here and there may test the limits of the group, but the flesh-eating monsters are far more devastating than a battle for leadership.

WEAPONRY

“Shoot first, think never,” Ash Williams, Ash Vs. Evil Dead (2015)

Remember scrolling through the collection of Samurai swords on eBay, when your “common sense,” and “rational adulthood,” and “wallet,” determined that they weren’t a good investment? Don’t use them anyway. Get creative! Use your imagination and create mass destruction on your own terms. From baseball bats to chainsaw arms and sawn-off shotguns, hit up your local hardware store and take advantage of shelves around you.

EMBRACE THE NEW WORLD

“The only way to survive a mad world is to embrace the madness,” Victor Strand, Fear The Walking Dead (2015)

The only way to survive a crazy world is to embrace your own kind of madness. It’s not ideal, but the apocalypse requires strength on a monumental scale, that of which is beyond a desk job. Take a deep breath and step into the new world. Good luck.